


Staying sane

by Sketchart99



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Domestic Violence, F/F, F/M, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Threats of Violence, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-04-08 12:57:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19107556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sketchart99/pseuds/Sketchart99
Summary: Dean Winchester is stuck in an abusive relationship with his husband Micheal. They have a son but when Micheal takes it a step too far Dean takes Ben and runs. Changing their names and trying to stay safe from Micheal. When Dean meets Castiel he is instantly drawn to him but can Dean learn to trust and love again or will he forever be afraid of what could happen.





	1. Prequel

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a story that mentions and talks about Domestic abuse and if it is triggering please do not read this. I want everyone to be okay and enjoy but not if it hurts you mentally or emotionally. There will be warnings throughout the story. Thank you for reading.

10 years ago:

"Baby, are you ready to go?" Micheal asked staying just outside the door. I couldn't help my grin as i told him to get out there so I could walk down the aisle to him. I heard footsteps leaving as i picked up the concealer and dabbed it on underneath my eyes to hide the bruises. It's not like I blamed Micheal, it was my fault. I told him that I was having second thoughts about our wedding after he had already had a bad day. But afterwards he had apologised and cleaned up dinner. How could I not forgive him. Finishing up, I looked in the mirror, green eyes meeting green eyes and wiped away a tear. "Why are you doing this?" I asked myself. I already knew the answer, because I love Micheal. He means the world to me and I couldn't just leave him. Straightening up, I gave one final nod as I adjusted my blue tie and opened the door ready for my final judgement.

6 years ago:

"Lisa!" I shouted running through the maternity ward only to be stopped by nurses. "Sir. You need to go sit down." One of the nurses said pushing me back. I fought until a security guard started this way then I backed down and walked back to the waiting room. Micheal wouldn't be happy if I was kicked out of the hospital. I'm already a failure as it is. I couldn't keep my car working properly so I gave it to Rowena even though it was my parent's before the accident. Micheal knows me though, that's why he has to tell me how to do things. We want kids but that's not possible for obvious reasons. Reason 1 being we both have dicks.  
I waited for hours in the waiting room knowing I was lucky Micheal let me come here to support Lisa but when the nurse came out with her head hanging down, I just knew. "What about the baby?" I asked completely bypassing Lisa. I could grieve for her later. Micheal wouldn't like it if I cried in public. Says real men don't cry. So I don't. "He's okay. There were some complications and we just barely managed to save him. I'm so sorry." She turned and started walking away so I stood up and followed her to the maternity room to look at my new son.

Now: 

"Hey baby." I said picking up Ben. "Daddy? Where's dad?" Ben asked sleepily. "He's just sleeping baby. We're gonna go buy him breakfast okay sweetheart. You know how dad loves breakfast in bed." Ben nodded and fell asleep on my shoulder as I picked up his overnight bag that I had packed weeks ago. "Rowena. Hurry up. Micheal isn't in bed anymore." I whispered slipping past the bedroom and peeking in. "I'm coming, I'm coming. Get outside. Now." Rowena said I heard the impala rolling up and hurried to the door to see Micheal standing there. "Going somewhere Dean?" I shook my head as fear took root digging deep into my bones. "Of course not. Ben and I were just going to get you breakfast from Sandra's place. I know how much you love her waffles. We wanted to surprise you in bed." Micheal smirked. "What's the bag for then." I never took my eyes off of Micheal's as i spoke."You know how Ben is when he is tired and out. Extra clothes just in case." I slowly took a baby step to the side praying that I could get to the back door before Micheal. Sam would be waiting. "It's because you coddle the boy Dean. I told you that taking the son of your dead friend would be bad. But you don't listen do you. It's because you're a failure. At being a dad, at being a husband too. I don't think you were going for food Dean. You were trying to leave." He lunged at me and i spun and took off towards the back door. As I got there I saw Sam holding the door. I passed Ben to Sam and threw the bags outside before turning around to face Micheal. "Dean, No!" Sam yelled I told him to take my son and go before throwing myself at Micheal. Micheal was taken aback which allowed me to to get out the front door and into the impala. Slamming the door I told Rowena to hit the gas and we took off, leaving Micheal chasing after us in the dust.  
Sighing, I leaned my head against the window after checking to make sure Ben was buckled in and thought back to what had caused this situation. Ben had been playing outside when it started to rain making Ben very muddy. Ben had then come running inside without taking off his shoes leaving a mess. Micheal had found it before I could clean it up and he had taken off his belt and whipped Ben until his back was riddled with open wounds. I had drawn the line at that point. Micheal could treat me like shit, beat me berate me. but my son was another thing. It wasn't until then that I had realised just how bad I had let it get. Micheal had me stop talking to Sam and Gabriel, and Rowena, and Charlie and her girlfriend Jo, and Jo's mom and her husband, my foster father Bobby.  
"I'm sorry Sammy." I said choking back a sob. "Dean, you got out. That's what matters right?" Sam said turning in his seat to look at me. "I never should have let him get that far Sam. He hurt my son. How can I forgive myself for that? Maybe I am a bad dad." A tear rolled down my face and i shakily wiped it away. "Ben and I are going to leave. Go to Europe or something. Somewhere Micheal can't find us." I said sitting up. "Not alone you're not." Sam said I opened my mouth to protest but Sam cut me off. "No dean. I spent five years not talking to you or Ben even though I told you that Micheal was bad. You didn't listen. Now you are. We got a hotel paid only with cash. You and Ben are going to come there and as a family, we are going to decide where to go. Paid full in cash. Charlie and Jo said they would come with us too." Ben shifted in his sleep and I lifted his shirt looking at the faint scars left behind. "Hey. I will have you know that Crowley and I will be coming too. As far as I know everybody is coming with." Rowena said. "No." I said shaking my head. "Dean. We can't stay. Micheal knows where we all live. He will stop at nothing to get you back, Gabe and I have a son too. We can't risk Micheal trying to use Jack to find you too. So whether you like it or not, we are all in this together." I nodded finally and when we pulled up to the hotel, I grinned knowing that we were finally safe.


	2. chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Settling down with Ben hasn't been easy but they managed. now in a completely different country, The big family is living it up as best they can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of abuse in this chapter so again, if it's triggering please please do not continue. I don't want anyone risking their mental health for anything. You are too important to this world for that, even if we don't know each other, please stay safe guys. Thank you for the support.

6 months later: 

"Ahh, Italy. Beautiful place to set up a sweets shop and a mechanics shop side by side. Like connected at the hip." Gabriel said his golden eyes gleaming as they looked at the buildings they had just paid for. Dean rolled his eyes and picked up Ben. It had been 6 months since they had escaped their hell but Dean was far from okay. He had nightmares every night often waking up screaming and crying and looking to see Ben fearfully watching his dad. Everything was getting put into place, Ellen had sold her old bar and moved it into Italy and keeping the name of The Roadhouse. Bobby and Dean were opening a shop called Italian Impala that connected into Gabe's sweet shop called Sweet Beats. The sweet shop would be selling all kinds of sweets that had everything to do with music. It was quite creative really. Rowena gave Dean back the impala but most of Italy complained that it was large and rather unaccommodating so until they got a nice place out in the country they were going to park it in front of the mechanic shop to fit the name. Ben was happy for once in his life and Dean felt bad thinking that he had a hand in Micheal robbing Ben of his childhood. Dean grinned as Ben chased after Jack laughing. It was at that moment that Dean turned his head to wipe away a tear when he heard a couple of thumps and turned to see a pile of kids including Jack and Ben. Running over, Dean got them up and cleaned off and turned to two of the little girls who had been in that mess. "sorry kids. Are you okay?" They both nodded with grins and the blonde girl spoke with a thick accent. "No problem mister. I'm Claire and this is Alex. Are you from the States? Alex is. She and her moms moved to Italy just a couple months ago." Dean grinned and Ben instantly took over the conversation. "You moved here from the USA? So did we. Where are you from Claire?" Alex and Claire grinned. "My dad and I moved here from Russia just days ago. Alex has been very nice to me here. It must be the american in you. My dad's probably looking for me but would you boys like to come for dinner?" Claire looked expectantly at Dean and Ben turned large puppy dog eyes on Dean who sighed. "Fine. Did Sam teach you that trick? Cause it worked. But I do need to meet your dad Claire so I can tell Sam and Gabe where their 7 year old is running off to." Claire nodded and softly took Dean's hand and let the boys follow her to a gentleman sitting at a nearby cafe. Dean stopped in his tracks, only seeing the dark hair for a second and in his mind's eye, he was running from Micheal again. 

"Dean. I thought I told you to be ready an hour ago. My meeting is very important to me and I want you there." Dean stood up pulling the handkerchief out of his back pocket. "Sorry Micheal. The impala needed a oil change for Rowena, and I just thought that because you didn't need me there..." Dean trailed off as he wiped his hands. Micheal walked towards him and before he could apologise for stepping out of line, Micheal slapped Dean whipping his head to the side. "I may not need you there but I want you there." Micheal grabbed Dean's face and turned Dean back towards him. "Who is the boss here Dean?" Dean grimaced as Micheal's grip tightened. "You are." Dean whispered. "Who is the failure who doesn't listen Dean?" Dean felt a tear slip out. What more could Micheal take from him. "Me." Dean said softly. "Exactly." Micheal said throwing Dean away from him. When Dean hit the ground, Micheal took his foot and started swinging, kicking Dean continuously. When he was done, Micheal was out of breath. "You are a failure Dean. But you are my failure and I won't let anyone take you away. You won't come with me today because you aren't feeling well. Isn't that the problem?" Micheal bent down meeting Dean's eye. Dean nodded and lowered his gaze. "That's my husband. You know I love you right?" Dean nodded again. "Good. Ben is at the sleepover now?" Micheal said standing up. "Yes honey. Ben is at the sleepover. I will pick him up tomorrow in your SUV that you gave me." Micheal grinned. A terrifying, predatory grin that chilled Dean to the bones. "Good. I will see you later baby. Wish me luck." Dean had whispered it then ran inside looking at the new spilt lip and bruise forming on his face.

"Dad. Dad are you okay?" Dean jumped and looked down at Ben who looked concerned but not overly surprised. "Yeah, of course buddy. I'm always okay." Dean said forcing a grin. he looked up to see the Dark haired man standing up and walking over to where they were. "Claire. Where were you. I was getting worried." Claire grinned softly. "Dad, these are my new friends. Ben, Alex, Jack and Ben's dad." The man looked up and grinned stretching his hand out. Without realising it both Dean and Ben had stepped back, an instinct born of Fear of Micheal rather than anything else. "Is everything okay? My name is Castiel." The man said looking confused. Dean forced himself to shake off the fear and forced another grin. "Of course. My apologies. Castiel just sounds like such a mafia name. My name is Dean." Reluctantly Dean grasped Castiel's hand in his and shook albeit shakily. "Dad, I'm not feeling too well suddenly." Ben said softly. Jack nodded. "Me too uncle." Dean bent down and nodded. "Alright. We'll go home." They both nodded and Dean stood up. "My apologies. Claire invited my boys to come over for dinner. I actually came to talk to you about it but now they aren't feeling so great. It was very nice to meet you. Thank you Claire for inviting them." Then before anyone could say a word, Dean and the boys took off meeting up with everyone else for dinner.

"I'm telling you man. Besides the eye colour and the height and the age difference. This guy looks like Micheal. Scared the shit out of me too." Dean had told everyone about meeting Claire and Alex and Castiel although he had failed to give them Castiel's name. "I'm sorry Dean. But everyone is going to remind you of Micheal for a long time. He wasn't the nicest guy." Gabe said trying to make Dean feel better. "Don't patronise me Gabe. I know you are just trying to help but I know Micheal wasn't a great guy. My problem is that I let it get that far. Now what if I find a guy who doesn't remind me of Micheal but when he gets mad, I panic. What then?" Dean said glaring. "Sorry Dean. I know this hasn't been easy. You were with the guy since you were fifteen and you finally got yourself out six months ago. But back on track. What did you say this guy's name was?" Gabe said lifting his hands in surrender before digging into his spaghetti again. "I didn't. His name is Castiel. Pretty great huh? I think it means angel of Thursday or something." Dean said shrugging. Gabe whipped his head up eyes bugging out as he started choking. "Jesus Gabe. Don't kill yourself." Sam said standing up and patting Gabe on the back. "What did you say his name was?" Gabe said taking deep breaths. "Castiel. Like the angel. And Sam don't give me that look. Before mom and dad died they used to read me the bible." Dean said putting down his fork. Sam looked at Gabe. "Why did you bug out when Dean said that name?" Gabe finished calming down and thought about how he was going to break this to the boys. "I have an older brother. My mom had a tryst when she was younger and when she found out she was pregnant, she didn't want to tell my dad she cheated on him so she took off, said she was going on vacation and gave the kid up for adoption when he was born. Then she came back, picked up her life like she had never left and continued on. She only told me this a couple years ago on her death bed. She said before they took her she demanded that they name him Castiel Novak and that no one change the name so that if he wanted to come home, he could. I just don't see there being a whole lot of Castiel's just wandering around the world." Dean and Sam stared at Gabe slack jawed for a moment before Sam found his voice. "Alright. How about tomorrow we go find this Castiel then and see what his last name is. For all we know this could be a coincidence. But just in case its not. Let's check it out.


	3. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabe meets his long lost brother but is it all cracked up to be? And will Dean be able to learn to trust someone outside his immediate family again? Micheal is still out there slowly finding his husband and his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh. Three chapters in two days. Guys, these ideas are just coming to me. I'm so glad you like it so far. Thank you so much.

It took only half an hour to find Castiel and his daughter Claire the next day. The entire time and dark haired man that even so much as brushed up against Dean had them all on alert, holding Ben's hand just a little tighter and crowding them in just a little more. Dean hadn't realised just how much Micheal had affected them all. In their group was Charlie, Jo, Ellen, Bobby, Sam, Dean, Gabe, and Ben. Jack had wanted to come too but Sam and Gabe had compromised. If Jack stayed with Rowena and her son Crowley, Jack could do Sam's and Gabe's hair that night. Of course Jack had said yes.

When they reached the door that they had been told was Castiel's they all stood awkwardly until the door opened, Dean and Ben standing in front. "Hello? Oh Dean, how good to see you again." Castiel said opening the door in just a pair of pajama pants."Hey Cas. We never actually got to know you yesterday. This is my family and we were wondering if we could come in for coffee." Dean said shakily. Castiel nodded and stepped aside allowing everyone in, one at a time. "Claire. Your friend Ben is back." Castiel called out. Footsteps thudded down the hall and a set of stairs to see a very grumpy looking bed headed child. The minute Claire's eyes settled on Ben she lit up and suddenly became the happiest child around. "Ben! I knew you'd come back. Did you miss me?" She ran up to Ben and grabbed his hand pulling her away. The laughter of the adults followed them and soon they were gone from sight. Castiel turned his shoulders shaking with laughter as he led them into his living room. "Coffee anyone?" With a series of head shakes Castiel nodded and sat down. "Pray tell, what brings a bunch of people on my doorstep at 8:30 in the morning? And don't tell me its because you want to get to know me better because the way you and your boys took off yesterday says otherwise." Castiel said looking lazily at everyone then pointing at Dean. Dean sighed as Gabriel spoke up. "You're right. We didn't come just for idle conversation. I actually have a few questions to ask you." Castiel grinned. "I will answer your questions if you answer my questions as well. Like a game of twenty questions." Gabe nodded. "Alright Cas. Deal. But I ask first. What is your last name?" Castiel let out a booming laugh. "Starting off with a sprint are we? My last name is Novak. I don't know why though. My parents' last name was Elderwish. Though I am glad I didn't get that name." Charlie snickered and Castiel looked at her. "Do you have any children dear or are you here just for fun." Charlie's face went red as Jo spoke up. "My fiancee and I do not have children but we do plan on sitting down and discussing like adults once we are married." Castiel nodded. "Fair enough. Your turn for a question my friends." Gabe cleared his throat and before he could say anything Dean spoke up. "Are you Russian too or just Claire." Castiel sighed. "I'm not technically Russian. My ex wife was and so is her daughter, Claire. I adopted Claire when I met her mother. Claire was just a baby when her mom died but afterwards we travelled everywhere certain that we could find our place. Now I have a question for you Dean. Have you ever been abused?" The whole room rioted as soon as the words left Castiel's mouth. "I see." He said his lip quirking up. When Dean managed to get every one settled down he spoke up again. "One, how did you know I was abused? Two, were you adopted as a child?" Castiel grinned again. "One, you broke the rules. One question per one answer. Two, The way you reacted when I stretched my hand towards you yesterday. Three, yes I was. I was never told my mother's name though which is peculiar especially because it was in a small town in Europe." They all looked at one another then Gabe spoke up finally. "Holy shit. You're my older brother. I mean, we will have to get DNA tests done and everything but it's totally possible, you're my brother which means you have a bigger family than you could have ever dreamed. Claire has cousins and and." Gabe stood up pacing back and forth until Cas stood up. "I'm sorry but what? You're my brother? I agree on the DNA tests that will be our first priority henceforth." Without another word they grabbed the kids and took off for the hospital.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the hospital it becomes a fiasco but they get the results. Then Dean and Ben see someone that should have never been able to find them. Dean sends Ben running and keeps this intruder away from Ben and the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been on vacation. Sometimes you need it again this could have trigger warnings. I know its getting redundant but I really don't want anyone to feel that they have to read this. Thank you for your support because honestly this is the only place I spend my time writing on. Thank you so so much. Enjoy!

At the hospital, Castiel and Gabriel were in the other room getting Blood tests and DNA tests done while everyone else was in the waiting room. "Dad, how long do you think they'll be in there?" Ben asked getting restless. "I don't know but how about we go for a walk. Everybody else is showing up now." Dean said softly. "Where is Gabe?" Ellen asked running in. "He's fine Ellen, he's getting a DNA test done because we think we might have found his brother." Sam said standing up. As soon as Sam let that little piece of info out, everyone was asking questions and talking over each other until suddenly Gabe and Cas and Claire walked out then it got much much louder. Dean grabbed Ben and quietly they snuck off to get some peace and quiet and maybe some food. Ben's stomach was grumbling loudly. Dean tapped Charlie on the shoulder and pointed. She nodded and turned back towards the crowd trying to get everyone to calm down. "Come on Ben, let's go get some food, and peace and quiet." Dean said with a grin. Ben grinned and soon they were far enough away from the group that they could hear themselves think again. Making small talk they didn't pay attention to the sound of footsteps behind them but then Dean suddenly lifted his head and did a half turn to see a very familiar thin looking man and he proceeded to walk a little faster, the man behind them sped up to so he made a bunch of random turns and picked up Ben and whispered. "I need you to go back to the others. Do you remember the way?" Ben nodded and Dean continued. "Good. I don't want to scare you but I'm going to talk to the man behind us. I'm sure its nothing and he thinks we're someone else but I just want to let him know." Ben nodded again as Dean put him down and turned around. "Alistair." Dean breathed out fearfully. "Dean, I do believe you have Micheal's son. Micheal doesn't care that you left him but he wants his son back." The man said grinning sadistically. "He's not Micheal's son. I'm his father." Dean said putting himself between Alistair and Ben. "Oh but is he really? Don't worry Dean, Micheal said I can have you so you're not alone forever." He took a step forward and Dean threw himself at Alistair shouting at Ben to run. Ben ran. 

Alistair hit the ground and rolled coming up swinging. Dean hit the ground and got up to see Alistair stalking off after Ben. Without thought, Dean tackled Alistair and rolled on top of him throwing punch after punch. Alistair growled and managed to dislodge Dean. He stood up with a scowl and looked after Ben. "Damn it Dean. Without Ben I don't get paid. You cost me a lot of money, but if you really want to have a go at me then let's go." Dean stood up and motioned with his finger in a come and get me motion. Then turned and ran. Alistair followed easily. Dodging through people at the hospital Dean managed to get out and ran down the street, he heard Alistair's footsteps behind him. Inwardly he grinned knowing that Ben would be okay. He didn't pay attention anything but what was right in front of him that was until he turned into an alley and was stopped by someone else stepping out. "Lucifer." Dean hissed. the man grinned and stepped into the light, his blue eyes gleaming coldly. "Dean, are resisting us?" Just then Alistair turned in the alley and stooped over breathing heavily. "You've gotten faster Deany. But you really shouldn't have run. You know we like a challenge."Lucifer said steeping closer. Alistair finally stood up straight again and walked closer too. "Where's the kid Dean? We kind of need him to be our paycheck. We're getting four thousand dollars each from Micheal for this kid. Another two grand if we bring you along, so you can either come quickly and quietly or we can take you the hard way. It doesn't matter to me, I still get paid either way." Alistair said pulling out a knife. "How did you find us?" Dean asked. "That's easy, he sent a bunch of us all over the place where you had both been on your honeymoon. Try not to be so conspicuous please." Lucifer said shrugging softly. A sound from behind Alistair caught all three men's attention and Sam's voice rang out. "Dean come on!" Dean turned to run but was grabbed by Lucifer. "You brought company. Damn it that kid's smart. Alistair let's go. We have Dean, We can come back for the kid." Lucifer started walking back but Dean swung his elbow into Lucifer's gut and turned shoving him back into a large dumpster then turned to face Alistair who twirled the knife threateningly. Dean huffed before throwing himself at Alistair being careful to avoid the weapon he was doing remarkably well until Lucifer jumped back into the mix, He heard footfalls and looked to see Sam running at Alistair. Alistair turned bringing up the knife to swing it into Sam but just before, Dean tackled Alistair again and felt the knife swing into side. "Oh shit." Alistair said standing up. "Alistair you dumb shit!"Lucifer yelled grabbing Alistair's arm, without thought both men stepped back as Sam dropped by Dean's side. "You should have never left Dean. You would have been safe." Lucifer said shoving Alistair away. Alistair took off and Lucifer knelt down. "You stupid fuck. Jumping in front of a knife?" Sam coughed and pulled the knife out of Dean. "here, This will stop the bleeding a little bit. Let's get him into the car." Lucifer said picking Dean up softly. "That was some performance." Sam said holding a shirt against Dean's ribs. "Thank you. I didn't think Alistair would actually try anything in a hospital or else I would have let you know. I'm sorry." Lucifer laid Dean down in the backseat and crawled in into the driver's seat as Sam sat in the back. The drive back was quick and Dean was quickly moved into emergency surgery because apparently Alistair had punctured a lung. Everyone gathered around :Lucifer. "It's good to see you again Luci." Gabe said fist bumping him. "Thanks brother. It wasn't easy trying to pretend like I gave a damn about Dean." Gabe nodded and brought Lucifer closer to Castiel. "Lucifer this is our older brother Castiel. Castiel this is your younger brother Lucifer. Lucifer is older than me and we also have a younger brother after me named Balthazar but he has cut off all ties with us saying he likes the company of a melange something or other i don't know." Castiel and Lucifer nodded and appraised each other before shaking hands. "Welcome to the family." Lucifer said. He turned towards Gabe. "Where's my nephew. I have to run but I don't want to say goodbye without seeing him first." Gabe grinned and led him over to Jack. "Uncle Luc." Jack yelled jumping into a bear hug from Luci. "Hey kiddo, sorry I can't stay long but I just wanted to say hey and that I will call you when its safe okay?" Jack nodded and hugged just a smidgen tighter before finally letting go and waving goodbye as Lucifer made his rounds and left with a final goodbye.


End file.
